A research group on sea mammals captured a rather odd porpoise on one of its trips. It was unique because this porpoise had feed. After they had taken all the data, measurements, blood samples and put the poor animal through all sorts of tests , they prepared to set it free.
“Wait a minute,” said one of the researchers, “Wouldn’t it be a great if our ship’s doctor here were to amputate the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?”
“Not on your life,” exclaimed the doctor, “That would be defeeting the porpoise.”
Bob was not a believer in seances, but went to one just to see what they were like.
The psychic was doing his thing and grinning from ear to ear.
Bob assumed his merriment was due to the fact that he was fooling a gullible public.
Bob became so mad that he gave the grinning psychic a punch in the nose.
You can probably guess the rest, Bob was arrested for striking a happy medium.
A mechanic who worked out of his home had a dog named Mace. Mace had a bad habit of eating all the grass on the mechanic’s lawn, so the mechanic had to keep Mace inside.
The grass eventually became overgrown. One day the mechanic was working on a car in the backyard and dropped his wrench, losing it in the tall grass.
He couldn’t find it for the life of him, so he decided to call it a day.
That night, Mace escaped from the house and ate all the grass in the backyard. The next morning the mechanic went outside and saw his wrench glinting in the sunlight.
Realizing what had happened he looked toward the heavens and proclaimed,
“A grazing Mace, how sweet the hound, that saved a wrench for me!”